The True Biography of Corey Feldman
Corey Feldman, named Corianna Feldinski at birth, was born on July 16, 1971 under the dark moon of the Zodiac. Born to a one legged Finnish dwarf and Andre the Viking, the young Corianna had dreams of one day becoming a young boyhood actor, yet cursed from birth to be a girl. As a young girl, Corey first photos shots were for baby clothing and magazines....
...However, after realizing just how ugly a girl Corey was, Corey's parents began dressing her as a young boy. With her parents acceptance of Corey's desire to become a real boy, Corey began trying to male roles in films. One of Corey's first roles was in the film Friday the 13th: Part 4, a documentary on what happens to hockey players at camp when the lake is not frozen over for the 3rd year in a row. Soon after, Corey took on another role in the film Gremlins, a documentary about what happens when you forget to take care of possessed Chinese stuffed animals and they begin to kill. Many more movies came to Corey as time passed, but as time progressed, Corey's femininity would continue to show. After being sexually abused by a certain pop icon, Corey began to look a bit like a he/she.
Corey's fame would continue through the 90's as a cross dresser and as he appeared in such quality classics as Bordello of Blood and Stepmonster. Two films that no teenager could have grown up without. In these films, Corey tries her role once again as a strong male figure, but her feminine side could not hide. Pictures of Corey in such thought provoking magazines such as "Teen Beat" could not hide the truth that she is really just a beastly looking woman.
By the age of 12, Corey's frustrations with being an ugly girl drove her to the use of drugs. The film that drove Corey over the edge was a film called The Lost Boys, in which Corey is forced to play a young boy obsessed with vampire comics and men wearing tights. Her character in the film was the young boy that she wished she could be, but after finishing the film, Corey had to go back to her reality. Corey's drug habit then began to get so bad that she could not even stop using during the filming of movies. In the film Stand by Me, a cruel farce about fat kids puking pie and placing leaches on your junk, we see young Corey in his descend.
After years of film, Corey, for a small period during the late 90's after her toils and tribulations with drugs, decided to take on her true form and try a small time career as the fifth Spice Girl, Ugly Spice.
After about a month the other four girls asked Corey to leave the group on suspicions that she might be a man. Corey quickly filed a discrimination suit against the remaining Spice Girls, but she dropped the case when she once again decided that her dream of becoming a male actor could be damaged if the case was won. So Corey decided to take on the world as a young Ozzy Osbourne look-a-like.
Today Corey has a role as male version of himself on the WB show "The Surreal Life". As the show has progressed this season, it has become more and more apparent that her roles playing males are fading. In a not so dramatic moment in Las Vegas episode, we find Corey crying like the little girl that she is. As long as Jason lives and lizards crawl on Corey's head...one day Corey may become a real live boy.