Destination: Quahog, RI

The Announcement

Tom: Hello I am Tom Tucker and welcome to the 6 o'clock news. Would you believe it? Those rich young vixens from Southern California are going to be spending a month in the quiet town of Quahog, Rhode Island. No one knows for sure yet where exactly they'll be staying, but you can bet it is going to be with somebody dirt poor. I sure would mind having them spend a few nights in my backyard.

Diane: I hate you Tom.

Tom: I hate you too Diane.

They're Here!

Stewie: Hey fatso, put me down this instant. What the dues? Who are those young girls staring in our window? I say, go back in whatever Gucci bag you crawled out of.

Peter: Oh God! Oh God! They must want the sex tape I made back .Why?!

(Door bell rings)

Peter: Um...we're not home. Please leave a message after the beep. Beep! 

Oh God, why?!

Peter: Hey Lois, why are those girls staying with us?

Lois: Peter, I told you weeks ago that Chris's pen pals were going to visit for a month. They sent him this picture so we would know who they were.

Peter: Well I don't trust them. They are going to have to get a job if they are going to stay here, unlike someone I know...Lois. Oh, don't look at me like you don't know.

Nice Purse

(Paris and Nicole come down stairs laughing at Meg)

Nicole: Hey Meg, nice bag you have there. Did you get it at Wal-Mart?

Paris: Ha, no Nicole she probably made it herself at school in one of her "special" classes.

Peter: Listen girls, you be nice to Meg. One day you might have to ride the blue bus too.

Meg: Dad! (leaves crying) 

Get A Job!

Peter: Listen Paris, if you are going to keep making fun of Meg like the rest of us, you are going to have to get a job. No more of this free loading of Lois's meatloaf surprise and drinking all my beer. You girls are going to learn some responsibility.

Paris: If you say so Mr. Griffin, we'll try if it'll make you happy. But why do you have your eyes closed?

Peter: Well I don't do well with confrontation, so I am just picturing you naked. Uh, I didn't mean naked, I meant nude, aah,  boobies. I am just going to walk away now.  

Suggest Babysitting

Lois: You know Nicole, maybe you two girls should get a job babysitting. I know Stewie and some of his little friends would love to have you two girls taking care of them.

Stewie: That is right you foul mouthed rich girl.  Let me squeeze out your first chore and I expected my ass to be wiped with the good stuff and not any of that cheap sandpaper Lois uses. And stay away from my Alphabets. Oh look, that one says "B-O-O-B". How delightful.

Nicole: Stewie you're so cute. You said "boob".

First Job

Stewie: What? Why are you staring at me? I didn't make this mess. It was those dimwits from Beverly Hills looking for liquor. Now what are you looking at? The cream of broccoli? It was provoking me. I warned it once before, "Broccoli, you are no good for me. Well I am no good for you."

Paris: Aw, Stewie, we love you.

Nicole: Stewie, you are so cute.

Paris: Yeah.

Stewie: BAH!  

2nd Job

Cleveland: So Peter, how are things going with Paris and Nicole?

Quagmire: What? Paris Hilton is living next door to me? That reminds me I have to go get some film. Giggity-giggity. (Quagmire speeds off)

Peter: Well guys, they were fired from their last job for trying to drink, but I mean, after an hour of Telletubies, who wouldn't? So I was able to get them a new job at Old Man Pete's gun shop. I mean, what could go wrong there.

Fired!

(Gunshot goes off)

Old Man Pete: Oh God! I'm shot.

Nicole: Oh my God, Mr. Old Man, Paris and I were joking around in the back about being fired and Paris said "I'll show you fired" and shot the gun.

Paris: Yeah, I am really sorry about firing the gun. I swear we will find the bullet and just put it back in the gun. It won't happen again.

Nicole: Yeah, we promise and we are so sorry.

(Old Man Pete falls dead to floor)

Paris to Nicole: He should really put some club soda on that shirt or it'll stain..

Back to Normal

Peter: Well kids, Paris and Nicole are off to do about 20 years, so I guess thing around here can get back to normal.

Chris: Yeah, but I am going miss our late night pillow fights.

Meg: Mom, can I keep all their stuff.

Lois: No dear, that it is why they created E-bay.

Brian: Does anyone find it odd that I have not said a word all episode?

THE END