1. If you steal a car and get caught, chances are that a rich lawyer will get you off and let you live in his pool house. Only down side is that your mother will disown you, your brother has to stay in jail, and the lawyer's kid wants to be you.
2. Brooding. Chicks find it sooooo sexy.
3. The biggest jock in school is a dick, but chances are that his dad is gay. Punch him around a few times and he will become your best friend.
4. If you are committed of fraud, your next door neighbor will help support you by asking you to go into business with him. Did I mention that he does this even after you kiss his wife?
5. Your Father-in-law is EVIL.
6. Don't worry about burning down a model home because your punishment of a stern talking to will be over before you know it.
7. When in Tijuana, drink lots of alcohol with pain killers. Make sure you pass out in a dark alley so your friends know where to find you.
8. Guys who like comics, video games, and emo get to bang hot chicks. Sarcasm and stalking help too.
9. Anyone who tries to befriend your girlfriend is a psychopath, especially when named "Oliver" and he is not British.
10. The Wonder Woman costume is still sexy.
11. Your mom's sister says she is on vacation, but really she is a stripper. You'll find this out when you run into Paris Hilton.
12. The whore next door is your girlfriend's mom.
13. Combining two holidays and mixing religions into one is AWESOME. Chrismukkah, for instance, the holiday in which the Jews celebrate the festival of lighting the birth of Jesus.
14. Everyone from your home town wants to beat your ass, except for your ex-girlfriend, who is pregnant and engaged, to an old friend who wants to beat your ass.
15. If you drink and drive and hit a telephone poll, next season you get your own new show.
16. Counting cards in the Vegas gets you hookers and a free trucker's hat.
17. All moms are hotter than there daughters and much sluttier.
18. Screwing your ex-girlfriend's mom is AWESOME, as long as you don't get caught.
19. People in the O.C. are just as fucked up as those in Chino, but they drive Range Rovers.
and last, but not least....
20. Punch everyone!
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