Wow! That's better than a bj from a homeless girl!

That is all.

I am officially changing my name to Superman, that way when people say "Hey Superman", I can say "Hi."

Phrase of the week...

"You're a special kind of retarded."

Please use as you see fit.

The Ring 2

Okay, so me and the E-man checked out the Ring 2 this weekend and it...well...sucked giant monkey cock. Here are 10 reasons it sucked:

1. Aiden or Hayden, whateverthefuck the little kid's name is, is way too fucking smart for a little kid. The kid is 12 years old and sounds like a teenager from Dawsons Creek.

2. The 12 year old kid is carrying around a $1000 camera. Am I the only one who finds this odd? When I was 12 I used to run around and be active, but this kid is as exciting as watching grass grow.

3. How do these people all know to make copies of the tape now to survive? Was this not the whole premise of the first one...figuring out a way to survive? Now everyone apparently knows.

4. When you go to see a horror movie, you expect to be scared, however the scariest part of this movie was the chick in front me of me trying to eat a taco. Who eats tacos in a movie? Honestly.

5. Rachel, has a job that she goes to 3 times in the movie, yet she never does any work? Odd.

6. The little piece of shit kid kills a woman in the hospital and no police are out looking for him? Yeah, that makes perfect sense.

7. Samara is a little kid when she is killed yet somehow ages 20 years when she needs to climb out of a well, but back to looking like a kid again when we see her ghost. Who is doing special effects for this movie, Michael Jackson?

8. Hi, my kid is possessed, would you mind watching him while I run some errands?

9. Apparently everyplace in the movie is run by idiots since Rachel has absolutly no issues about walking into the ambulance of dead guy, the police station, the house of the dead kid, etc. This all makes perfect sense.

10. Naomi Watts never takes off her top, which easily would have been the only thing to save this piece of shit movie.

Somebody owes me $6.25 and 2 hours of my life!

Little Kids

Quick Story: So my chickie is talking about kids at her work yesterday and asks me, "Why don't you like little kids?" My answer, "See hun, its not just little kids that I don't like, its also midgets. I just don't trust anything that can headbutt me in the crotch. Plus, some of them are really ugly."

Brunch isn't real

Okay so who came up with the word 'brunch' anyway? I bet it came to be by some couple who couldn't get over some gay arguement. Seriously, its either an early lunch or a late breakfast...MAKE UP YOUR MINDS! This word should not exist. When is the last time you heard someone go out for Lupper? NEVER! Cause it is either a late lunch or an early dinner/supper. Sometimes the world lets a moron slip through the cracks. Bastard.

Morning

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK...THAT IS ALL.

Tori Amos
Current mood: confused

Who is still allowing this woman to make albums? Isn't the "I am a feminist and a wannabe lesbo" thing so late 90s? Who knew sounding like a nail scratching across a chalk board would make you famous? Someone please kill her and save us all. Please.

Got the digits

Thanks to some foolish hacker, I finally have Lindsay Lohan's digits. I was thinking about trying the number, but then realized...she has a lot of baggage. There needs to be some sort of adjustment factor on hot chicks with lots of baggage, for instance: Divorced parents -5 points (out of 100). Any girl over 75 is worth a call. However, this scale means nothing if you just want to bang them.

Woke up and took a poop.
Current mood: crappy

And it was good.