Why Fat Chicks think so Many Men are Gay...

   Okay here is the deal...why is it when a fat girl comes up to you in a bar or a club and you show zero interest in them, they assume you are gay?  This is fucking bullshit!  I did not think such a thing was possible until it happened to me.  Story: I was at a bar, getting my drink on, and all was kosher until this ULTRA MEGA FATTY came over to ask me to dance.  I of course refused, but my retarded ass friend pulled me up and handed me off to CHRISTMAS HAMS. Why do girls try to protect chicks that are nasty? They would not humor an ugly guy.  So I am now forced to do the dance of the HUNGRY HUNGRY HIPPO with, well...the HIPPO.  The smell of BACON GREASE and it's BBQ stained clothing were nauseating.  JUNK FOOD then grabs my hand to put it around the DUMP TRUCK...or moreso on the DUMP TRUCK.  The mounds of FLAB enveloped my hands and would not allow them to free.  Luckily, simple movements like dancing caused SAY NO TO DESSERT to sweat CRISCO, a nice slippery surface. As much as it pained me to cause rubbing against the SEA OF JELLO, it was my only way to freedom. With a quick pull, I freed myself from the deadly grasp of BIGGIE SIZE EVERYTHING.  I quickly ran away to my mind erasing beer of choice to hopefully remove the pain of what had just occurred.  TONS O' FUN then rolls it's way over to the table and asks why I sat down. My answer, "I didn't really feel like dancing."  JABBA THE FATTY then asks me, "Why? Are you gay?"  WTF! Hello?! What is that all about?  Where does not wanting to dance with THE GOODYEAR BLIMP make a man gay?  I was trying to be nice and not say, "I didn't want to dance because I was worried that you might trip over your KANKLES and crush every bone in my body."  Try to be nice and be accused of being gay, that is what you get from DUMB, FAT, IGNORANT COWS who refuse to except that the fact they are actually DUMB, FAT, IGNORANT COWS.  Call JENNY CRAIG, meet MR. ATKINS, and GO ON A DIET, then maybe you'll understand because a man rejects, it is not because he is gay, but in fact because he is not a marine biologist that wants to take care of a BEACHED WHALE.