I.N. Theory

   I.N. Theory (International Nipple Theory) - The theory that men are not actually attracted to breasts, but are in fact attracted to nipples.  Honestly, men do not really care about the size of a woman's breasts if the nipple is overly big.  The key to a nice breast is nipple to breast proportion.  If you have a small breast and huge nipples...no good.  If you have huge tats and nasty nipples...no good.  Anything larger than a silver dollar, no matter what size of the breast, is no good.  On TV shows like the Shield, they now show bear breasts with the nipples air brushed out...WTF!  If men look at cleavage, they are hoping to see...the nipple.  Girls, don't be fooled, if the room is cold and your diamonds are sharp enough to scratch a window, guys will and are staring. Men are all about the tit nipply.  A breast without a nipple is just a lump.  As children we suck on the nips, as adults, we want to suck on the nips.  I have found that most women do have very nice nipples and are in proportion, however there are some exceptions to the rule.

Some Exceptions:

Chewbacca Nipples: Hairy nips. If you shave as high as your legs, just keep going up.

I.N.G. : Iranian Nipple Genetics, Nipples that refuse to show or explain themselves.

Daggers: Nipples that stick out far enough to make you lose an eye.

Cross-eyes: Nips that point towards each other.

Phils: Named after Phil the Groundhog that only comes out once a year. (Inverted nipples)

Nubbs: Tiny nipples that are just enough to pinch.

Blings: Pierced nipples. Honestly, chicks, why the fuck would you want to do that?

Tats: Tattooed nipples. Once again, chicks, why the fuck...?

Cupples: When the nips are so big they almost entirely cup the breast.  Damn scary.

Noobs: When the nipple is the entire tit. Really frightening.