As if the original series did not suck enough, some morons decided it was a good idea to bring this terrible show back to compete with other terrible shows like "American Idol". Here is a hint, if you had to take the show off the air in the first place, is it really worth bringing it back? In this time of reality shows and viewer control, bringing back old school shows is fucking ridiculous. Remember three years ago when we had all the "Millionaire" game shows? Look at where all those shows are now. In the spirit of those fallen game shows, "Star Search", you are the Weakest Link.
Here are the reasons that the all "Star Search" sucks:
1. If you need to add the words "ALL NEW" to introduce a series from the 80's that sucked, guess what?...YOU HAVE AN "ALL NEW" KIND OF SUCK!
||2. Honestly, what is "Star Search" without Ed McMahon? A big waste of fucking time. Arsenio Hall can never come even close to half the man that Ed is...which is pretty sad since Ed would not even be a man without Johnny Carson. Hey Arsenio! I think I can see your future coming. Do the words "You may already be a winner" mean anything to you?|
|3. No Dog Pound! The best part of the Arsenio Hall Show was the Dog Pound. For those that don't remember, the Dog Pound was the group that sat at the front of the audience and made a barking sound as they waved a fist above their head. Arsenio's new "dog pound" is a group of winey judges that all deserve an ass kicking. WOOF WOOF!||
||4. How does any reality song and dance show consider themselves respectable without any Solid Gold Dancers? They just can't. Hell, the Solid Gold Dancers even made the "running man" look cool. Nothing beats the 80's look and spandex. Does Star Search have any of that? NO! Cause it sucks!|
|5. No fucking Gong! Let's just say that the worst fucking singer/comedian/dancer is on stage, why should we be tortured any longer than needs be? If a person sucks, lets get the loser off the damn stage as soon as possible, rather than prolong the pain. Hey Arsenio, "GONG!"...get off the fucking stage! I can only wish that there were a gong for every situation in life.||
||6. Where is Wicket the Ewok? The only thing that could possibly save the day for Star Search and make it not suck would be Wicket. Which would be more entertaining as a TV host: Ed McMahon, Arsenio Hall, or Wicket the Ewok? No contest...Wicket wins!|